Faithful

Giving up is easy for me. I'm actually kind of lazy. And right now I'm so thankful that God isn't. He's faithful. A kind of faithful that I'll never be, even if I lived a thousand years. I think about the millions of times that I've ever considered giving up on Him. In reality, I can't. I mean, I've tasted life on the other side and refuse to go back to it. But I still think about. I still think about turning my back on the one who loves me more than I could ever imagine. And then I think about how thankful I am that He's never thought of turning His back on me.

How undeserving am I?! I don't even deserve for God to look at me, let alone love me, let alone deal with all my "stuff", let alone walk in any kind of relationship with me. And yet He does. He looks at me and sees my potential, He loves me with a love that I can't even wrap my head around, He patiently deals with all my "stuff", and He pursues and continuing love relationship with me. And me? I don't turn to God when He should be the only one I seek, I don't love Him with every fiber of my being as I should, I don't release my white-knuckled grip on the "stuff" of my life, and I don't put my walk before everything else.

And yet, He's faithful to me. Why? I'm so wishy-washy. I'm up, I'm down. I even get tired of me. But He's always right there by my side to guide me to Himself, Especially lately. I've been so down, so discouraged, so incredibly exhausted. But the Lord has been continually renewing me with encouragement from His word, with His peace. I've been clinging to Isaiah 40:29-31. I remember somewhat arguing with God the other day and the first part of the verse came to mind. "Even youths will grow tired and weary." I was like, "See! Your word even says that I'm gonna get tired!" But He said, "Finish the verse, Devin." I (grudgingly) said, "But those trust in the Lord will renew their strength." How He's been proving that to me!

God's faithfulness is so amazing! He continually shows me that He is a promise keeper. He promised to never leave me nor forsake me, and He hasn't, even when I've wanted to leave Him because it's "too hard." Thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness. You pressed on when I would have given up, You loved when I would have turned to hate, You had patience when I would have thrown up my hands in frustration. Oh God, make me faithful like You!