God is Good!

Ever have one of those moments where you just stand in awe of God? I mean He's so great!! He's blessed me in so many ways and there have been so many times recently where I just have to step back and say "Wow." We serve a seriously ridiculous God.

I've said this so many times lately, but I didn't know it was possible to love God this much. It is so permeating, so indescribable. At church we've been studying the book of Hosea. It's one of my absolute favorite stories!! God's love and grace are certainly manifested in that book. Today my pastor was talking about God's fatherly relationship toward Israel; how in the beginning when the nation was young and weak, God stood behind her and led her by the hands as she took her first wobbly steps out of bondage. But as she grew, she bacame more independent, more self-seeking. She turned to other gods for help. But all the while her father was standing with open arms and unhesitating grace, waiting for the day she would see her great need for Him.

So often we keep the lessons of the past hidden in the past, but this story is mine, too. The Lord has always been present in my life. He saved my family when I was five and has had His hand on me. But I became too independent. I didn't think God could love me, even though I'd seen it from my earliest days. But I was too weak to walk on my own. He came to me as I was broken and fallen. He lifted my shamed face out of the dirt. He picked me up into His loving arms. He taught me how to walk again. He showered me in undeserved love. He rejoiced over me, as insignificant as I am. And my heart had never known such freedom. I'd been in bondage to other masters. The Lord's love has set me free.

As I have seen all of this in recent weeks, I have fallen even more deeply and passionately and irrevocably in love with Jesus. Life hasn't been easy but His love carries me. Seeing His love and loving Him back is unlike anything I've ever experienced. I am in awe of His glory and of my insignificance to the grand scheme of things. But I am here, now, and I have a call to live out. His love enables me to move forward as a young woman of God whose identity is found as a daughter of the Most High.

Times

Ever just have one of those moments when the past seems thrust back at you? I do.

But God is so good!! I can't imagine living life without Him and I love Him so much, but I needed a little lift today. This is another song by Tenth Avenue North that has really spoken to my heart and I wanted to share it. Life is tough. God is enough. His love covers everything. His grace is sufficient. He's always, always, always with us. He sees us through every heartbreak, every painful decision, every choice to do right when it's not easy. He is enough for the times we feel like it's all for nothing. He reminds us that it's all for Something.

Times
Mike Donehey

“‘Times’ is a song reminding us that the Bible is a story about failures. It’s not a story about a bunch of moral heroes. Look at David and you look at Peter and you look at Abraham. These are failures that God has redeemed. So the song ‘Times’ is just a prayer because we’re all struggling. Then God just speaks his answer and says, ‘You know what, my love is going to carry you through. I began this good work in you and I will be faithful to carry it out in completion.’”

I know I need You
I need to love You
I'd love to see You but it's been so long

I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
I need to hear You
Is that so wrong?

Now You pull me near You
When we're close I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell you all that I've done

Are You done forgiving?
Can You look past my pretending?
I'm so tired of defending what I've become
What have I become?

But I hear You say
My love is over
It's underneath
It's inside
It's in between

The times that you doubt me
And when you can't feel
The times that you question
Is this for real?

The times that you're broken
The times that you mend
The times you hate me
The times that you bend

My love is over
It's underneath
It's inside
It's in between

The times that you're healing
And when your heart breaks
The times that you feel like you've fallen from grace

The times that you're hurting
The times that you heal
The times you go hungry and are tempted to steal

In times of confusion
In chaos and pain
I'm there in your sorrow under the weight of your shame

I'm there through your heart-ache
I'm there in the storm
My love I will keep you by my power alone

I don't care where you've fallen or where you have been
I'll never forsake you
My love never ends
It never ends

© 2008 Essential Tunes / West Main Music / Formerly Music (SESAC) All rights admin. by Sony/ATV Sounds LLC (SESAC)

Dust

Tonight at youth group we continued our series on dust. No, not the stuff you find caked on bookshelves after neglecting to clean for x amount of weeks. Road dust. The kind that gets on you after walking a path. Last week we talked about the disciples and how they lived their lives in such a way and followed Jesus so closely that they were covered in His dust. That's living life in pretty darn close proximity to someone. And that's the way we as disciples today are called to live. To follow Christ in such a way that His dust covers us from head to toe.

Following the sermon tonight, my youth paster "dusted" each of us with some flour, symbolizing our desire to follow after Christ no matter what the cost. It was so cool! It was like an outward expression of my heart. A few minutes later a friend went down to pray and a group of us joined her. I realized that I had flour on my hands and wasn't sure if she wanted it on her shirt. But then I saw it in a new light. The dust that I was covered in was rubbing off on her.

See, it's not only Jesus' dust that can cover us. It's whatever we pursue, whatever we follow after. Boys, that next fix, acceptance, good grades... Whatever our heart is pursuing is what is going to cover us. And that's what is going to rub off on people. Jesus teaches us this whole new way of living so that it will rub off on other people, so that it will flood into their lives and He will get the glory and they will see love lived out. People get to taste what walking in His footsteps is like, and then get to do it for themselves.

I could feel God's challenge to me: What dust is rubbing off of me onto others?

I want to live my life in such a way that I'm caked with the dust of Jesus' feet and so that people around me know that He is still working. God hasn't forgotten us or left us-He's moving and loving and healing and people need to see that that's available to them. That's our call as the body. To show a lost world that this AMAZING God has given us new life through His son.

Oh God, I want to be so covered in You that Your presence and love and grace and forgiveness spill into the lives of those around me, that they will know unmistakenly that it is all You. Be my source as I follow You down this road you have me on. Cover me with You.

Beloved

So there's this band called Tenth Avenue North that I REALLY like. Their lyrics really express my heart, but also God's heart to me. As I was listening to their CD for the first time, I played this song and found the Lord speaking to me. I was reminded of the wayward bride I once was, of how God wrapped His loving arms around me, and of the passionate, all-consuming love I now have for Him. And even in the times when I try to run, He pursues me and pulls me back to Him. So I thought I would share. I pulled the lyrics off the band's website, including the writer's reasons for writing this song. My prayer is that we as the body, as the bride of Christ, would never forget our Savior's all-consuming, merciful, amazing love that covers us in spite of who we are.


Beloved
Beloved Mike Donehey
“The Bible is filled with wedding metaphors. When it talks about Christ and his church, it uses the analogy of a husband and a wife. In fact you could even argue that the reason marriage exists is to point to the greater reality of Christ. Over and over and over again, Christ calls the church, not just his wife, but his wayward wife. I was thinking one day, I wondered what it would sound like if Christ gave his wedding vows to me, as his church, as his bride and what those would sound like. So ‘Beloved’ is Jesus making vows to a wayward wife and the beautiful thing about Jesus is that when you’re his bride, divorce is not an option.”

Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need

Give me your life
The lust and the lies
And the past you’re afraid I might see
You’ve been running away from me

You’re my beloved lover
I’m yours
Death shall not part us
It’s you I died for
For better or worse
Forever we’ll be
My love it unites us and it binds you to me
It’s a mystery

Love of my life
Look deep in my eyes
There you will find what you need

I'm the giver of life
I’ll clothe you in white
My immaculate bride you will be
Come running home to me

You’ve been a mistress, my wife
Chasing lovers that won’t satisfy
Won’t you let me make you my bride
You will drink of my lips and you’ll taste new life

© 2008 Essential Tunes / West Main Music / Formerly Music (SESAC) All rights admin. by Sony/ATV Sounds LLC (SESAC)

Need to Breathe

Ever just have one of those days?

The kind where the people around you seem to be in complete chaos? The kind where you just can't get a clear answer from anyone, including God? The kind where the only thing you want to do is hop in your car and speed off in the opposite direction of all the nonsense and just get away? And just breathe.

I'm so incredibly irritated right now. And yes, Christians are allowed to get irritated. I'm irritated with friends. With school. With people who choose to lead chaotic lives. With the shallowness of high school. With drama. With the church for staying in this little Christian bubble. I just want to break free.

And yet, I'm reminded that I am exactly where I need to be. This is where God has me right now. Not that it won't change or that there's not more I could be doing, but I'm here for a reason. I've got a purpose. I'm called to live these "teen" years in such a way that God is glorified. But I still need to breathe.

But maybe it's not free space I'm in need of. Maybe it's not just oxygen I truly desire. What I need isn't in some solitary place miles away. He's right beside me. Always has been. Always will be. He's working in the midst of all the frustrations of my life.

I have this "Devinism"(something that is a trait specific to me :D). For the seasons of my life, I have a song. It tends to change as life changes. Right now my song is "Whatever You're Doing" by Santus Real (lyrics at the end). It simply says that whatever God's doing feels like chaos, and yet He gives an overwhelming peace.

A joy. A renewal. He supplies. He surrounds us with His presence. We can breathe Him in.

Oh God, right now life feels chaotic. And yet I know that You are working. I can see You moving. I need you to supply me. I need Your peace. I need Your grace. I need Your patience. I need Your love. I need to breathe You in and be consumed by You.

Whatever You're Doing-Santus Real
It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender
(Chorus)Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...
(Chorus)
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly
It's time to fix up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

The Freedom of Sacrifice

On Thanksgiving day my dad dragged my mom and me out to a tiny little church in the middle of nowhere to hear some friend's of his preach. I'm not gonna lie, I had no desire to go. But my dad really wanted to so my mom and I gave in. I'm really glad we did.

I'd forgotten how much I love hearing his friends preach. When they study a passage, they get into everything: the history of the people, the place, the context, etc. Plus, they study the original language (mainly Greek-it's what the majority of the New Testament was originally written in). It's amazing how much truth can be derived from a single verse when you really understand what the author was trying to say.

The preacher spoke from Matthew. It was the feeding of the 4,000. No, not the 5,000, the 4,000 (The feeding of the 5,000 is in chapter 14, the feeding of the 4,000 is in chapter 15). Scholars believe that the two happened within 2-3 months of each other. It's the exact same scenario except one happens in a grassy area and the other in a grassless, bare area, and the first time around there's a thousand more men to be counted. The 12 disciples are there. There are thousands of hungry people and Jesus, who wants to care for their physical and spiritual needs. The first time around, the disciples don't believe that Jesus can feed the crowd with five loaves of bread and a couple fish. But God does this incredible, inexplicable miracle and thousands of people walk away with full bellies and it's fabulous! And the disciples see all of this and you'd think that it would be something they would remember and not ever doubt again. But a few months later the same thing comes up and get this: They actually question whether or not Jesus can feed 4,000 people. Dumb disciples!

But how many times do we, today, in our own lives, see the miracles and the blessings and the mighty hand of God at work in a situation, and then when something similar happens later we doubt whether or not He can handle it. We refuse to surrender our notion that if it's impossible for man it's impossible for God (which God has disproven since the dawn of time).

But what if we were to give up what has been for what is to be?

Our preconceived notions about life, or even pain from the environments we grew up in, our unmet expectations, past hurts and hardships that we just can't seem to get over.

What if we sacrificed it, laid it all at the feet of Jesus, so that God could move in and do everything He wants to do?

He could heal. He could restore. He could absolutely pour out His heart into His children and give them passions and dreams and desires that they never would have experienced apart from Him.

We could partake in the compassion of God. We could share in the heart that so desires something more for the people of this world. We could love selflessly. We could give freely and without reservation. We could go places and do things that we'd never imagined. And we get to walk every step of the way with the God of the universe, who created us and breathes life into us and from the moment we're born pursues us to the ends of the earth just to know us.

And all God asks of us is to sacrifice those things we hold on to, those things we can't change.

I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty simple. I surrender the crap of my life to Jesus, and He comes in and pours Himself into me. Sure, I may have to give up my pride, I may have to deal with stuff I'd rather leave hidden, but in the end, knowing Christ and making Him known to a hurting world is so worth any sacrifice on my part. And any sacrifice Christ asks me to make is doable, because He sacrificed everything.

Jesus, You've invited me to enter into this totally amazing relationship with you, and I'm there. And now You say to surrender my all for what you want to do, and I can't find any reason not to. You are a faithful and have proven Yourself worthy of all our trust over and over again. I am whole-heartedly Yours. Do in me whatever You want to do, for You have greater things in mind than I could ever think up for myself.

Where is the fire?

Everyone has a passion. I have a friend who says that one of the most defining traits of a person is their passion. Whether it be art or creating or being active or learning or relationships, everyone cares about something. If you don't, you're missing out on one of the greatest things life has to offer.
But is it possible to lose the fire of those passions? Yep. I know. I'm there. It's not that I don't know why I do what I do... I know that I'm here to serve and love. But what happens when all the love has been drained? When you feel so raw that you can't take on anything else? What happens then? How do you get more? Because I know what I'm supposed to be doing. But I don't have my passion. My drive. My love.
But maybe that's why I'm empty.
My passion.
My drive.
My love.
They get me nowhere. I've got nothing to offer.
My love is limited.
But God's love is infinite.
His passion is abounding.
His drive is like a hurricane.
I don't need more of my love. I need more of God's love. My passion is weak. God's is forceful. I have no drive. But God is a steady, keep-moving kind of god.
Oh Christ, fill me up with Your love, Your determination, Your passions. I can't do this. I can't love perfectly or stay with something or really and truly care about something with self-abandonment. But You can. Pour out Yourself into me, that I might love and care and fight more like You.