God cares more about our character than our comfort. That's an almost impossible reality to accept. And yet it's been smacking me in the face.
I have fallen victim to this thing called pride. It disguises itself as comfort, as vanity or confidence, as false strength, as a number of seemingly harmless things. But it creeps in. In little passing thoughts, in intentions, in words. And I've seen the ways I hold myself on a pedestal. And I've fallen hard, only to be reminded of my humanity. Only to be reminded that I am not enough.
Talk about a reality check.
So where do I go from here? How do I pick myself back up? How do I attempt to continue when I've fallen so far and screwed up so many relationships and lost perspective? How do I heal as old wounds are ripped open? How do I have confidence in the woman God has called me to be when satan attacks my feminine heart and seeks to tear me down? And how do I turn to God when the last drops of pride say to rely only on myself? How do I seek His heart when all I want to do is hide my own?
And yet. Here I am. Fallen in the dirt. Most everyone I believed in are distant, moving on, or I've pushed them away. I have none of the strength I prided myself in having. All the ideas and things I've believed are just ideas when push comes to shove. Because this is reality. We can talk theology all day long. You can tell me I only have to trust in God. But it's hard. There is no simpler way to put it.
And yet.
My hurting heart, laid to bare with old scars re-opened, cannot ignore the heart of my Savior. Yes, life hurts. It hurts to revisit things I hoped as a little girl I'd forget with time. It sucks to be humbled. I feel naked as I have been stripped of all my preconceived notions about God and myself. And all this because God has been faithful to answer my prayers to know Him better.
But I have to say. In the midst of it all. Knowing full well I could just retreat, just hide my heart. My God is mighty to save. He is worthy. He is good. He is patient. He is still the passionate lover who calls to my heart with blazing sunsets. He has shown me that the purpose in all of this is healing. It's humility. It's understanding the heart of my Savior. And that is worth being weak for. That is worth vulnerability.
I don't have all the answers. But I've built my life believing in One who does. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I'm going to trust that the God who breathed life into my lungs can handle a little thing like tomorrow. I'm going to have faith that in the epicenter of my pain, Jesus is there. He's there with nail-pierced hands and a broken heart. He's there to wrap his arms around me. He's there to heal me.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Jesus, when I have nothing else to stand on, You remain. I don't deserve a love like that. And I don't know all that You're trying to teach me. But would You open my eyes? And would You hold my heart? You're the only one that can.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
On A Mission
This past Tuesday I returned home from a week in Guatemala. As friends and family have asked me how the trip went, I've struggled to describe it all in a few words that will at one time communicate all the pain and passion and beauty and brokenness and joy I have experienced out of one week. Even personally, coming home from an experience like that just wasn't easy. Being there just wasn't easy. I was on emotional overload throughout the trip. My heart was bombarded with the overwhelming mission of God and He began to multiply and mold passions in my heart and I realized just how responsible I am. But it wasn't until I was home that the reality of it all hit me.
On Wednesday, I showed my pictures to a friend for the first time. I'd rested all day and was feeling clean for the first t
ime, but though I'd washed the dust of Guatemala off of my feet, I could not wash it's impact off my heart. As I flipped through the pictures, I saw Louis again, and he melted my heart. I saw him sitting on my shoulders, about to walk to the park. I saw the beautiful faces of the children from the school, their smiles and their overwhelming love and warmth. I remembered the woman who invited us into her home, a small concrete shack with dirt floors, and her asking her children to bring us stools to sit on while Ronnie shared the Gospel with her. You don't find that kind of unreserved hospitality in America, with people offering everything they have to make perfect strangers feel comfortable. And I again saw the image of the woman who gave her heart to the Lord in the middle of the street after hearing about the love of God through an evangicube, and I envied the simple, trusting faith of these people who have no other gods but the God, because their lives are without the clutter of consumerism and extravagance. I again saw the pastors of Coatepeque, who have such a zeal for God and a burn for their lost neighbors. And I wished the pastors of the mega churches of America could meet people who are apart of truly healthy churches that may have only 20 people. Because we have a lot to learn from those pastors who humbly place others first. 
Through His church in Guatemala, God has laid a vision for His church as a whole on my heart. It's beautiful, not oppressed but cultural faux-paus or shame, but a church alive, set free to worship, living in the victory of God, forsaking all other idols for the very heartbeat of a real and present God. It's a church who invites. It's a people who stand in the gap. It's a helping hand. It's a servant who kneels at the dirtiest of feet and washes them with grace and love and true friendship. It's an annointed people going out and making disciples because they can't sit still when it comes to the indescrible God of the universe. It's a church united in Christ and broken of pride, broken of a holier-than-thou attitude, broken of malice and hate, broken of shame and condemnation, broken of living defeated, completely broken. And yet completely whole. It is the beautiful bride of Christ, like Hosea's redeemed wife, God's chosen people, made up of all people who trust in God and in His son, not just a select few. It is everlasting. It endures persecution and fads and the fiery darts of satan and it transcends culture and the norm and it is of God and it is sourced by God and it is for God.
I wept for the first time over the trip and all I had seen on Wednesday, because it finally hit. Because I was totally broken. I was overwhelmed by all the images that are forever written on my heart. I am and evermore will be broken. But a friend asked me to describe the trip in a phrase. And as I thought about it, I had to say, "On a mission." Leaving Guatemala may have ended that particular missionn trip, but my mission is just beginning. I am responsible for all I have seen. I will go and tell the story of Louis and of the church in Guatemala of of Ronnie and Alex and Julio, but I must also go and awaken the church, to remind it of its purpose and to turn its eyes on the only One who can ever guide it. It took going to open my eyes, coming home to break my heart, and being stuck here to set me on fire for God's mission in my hometown and in my home country.
Oh God, I will never be the same. I am so broken. But in You I find strength. In You I find purpose and passion. In You I find my mission. You have given me a fire for Your church, Your beloved. Raise me up and use me according to your purposes. And while you work in your own timing, You won't wait on ours to redeem Your people. So use me now however you choose. Thank you for the beautiful people of Guatemala, who have taught me so much about loving you and serving those You love. Break down my walls of pride, that I may be used as a bridge between the introverted church and the people of this world who need to see Your image in Your people. It's all for You. Amen.
On Wednesday, I showed my pictures to a friend for the first time. I'd rested all day and was feeling clean for the first t
ime, but though I'd washed the dust of Guatemala off of my feet, I could not wash it's impact off my heart. As I flipped through the pictures, I saw Louis again, and he melted my heart. I saw him sitting on my shoulders, about to walk to the park. I saw the beautiful faces of the children from the school, their smiles and their overwhelming love and warmth. I remembered the woman who invited us into her home, a small concrete shack with dirt floors, and her asking her children to bring us stools to sit on while Ronnie shared the Gospel with her. You don't find that kind of unreserved hospitality in America, with people offering everything they have to make perfect strangers feel comfortable. And I again saw the image of the woman who gave her heart to the Lord in the middle of the street after hearing about the love of God through an evangicube, and I envied the simple, trusting faith of these people who have no other gods but the God, because their lives are without the clutter of consumerism and extravagance. I again saw the pastors of Coatepeque, who have such a zeal for God and a burn for their lost neighbors. And I wished the pastors of the mega churches of America could meet people who are apart of truly healthy churches that may have only 20 people. Because we have a lot to learn from those pastors who humbly place others first. Through His church in Guatemala, God has laid a vision for His church as a whole on my heart. It's beautiful, not oppressed but cultural faux-paus or shame, but a church alive, set free to worship, living in the victory of God, forsaking all other idols for the very heartbeat of a real and present God. It's a church who invites. It's a people who stand in the gap. It's a helping hand. It's a servant who kneels at the dirtiest of feet and washes them with grace and love and true friendship. It's an annointed people going out and making disciples because they can't sit still when it comes to the indescrible God of the universe. It's a church united in Christ and broken of pride, broken of a holier-than-thou attitude, broken of malice and hate, broken of shame and condemnation, broken of living defeated, completely broken. And yet completely whole. It is the beautiful bride of Christ, like Hosea's redeemed wife, God's chosen people, made up of all people who trust in God and in His son, not just a select few. It is everlasting. It endures persecution and fads and the fiery darts of satan and it transcends culture and the norm and it is of God and it is sourced by God and it is for God.I wept for the first time over the trip and all I had seen on Wednesday, because it finally hit. Because I was totally broken. I was overwhelmed by all the images that are forever written on my heart. I am and evermore will be broken. But a friend asked me to describe the trip in a phrase. And as I thought about it, I had to say, "On a mission." Leaving Guatemala may have ended that particular missionn trip, but my mission is just beginning. I am responsible for all I have seen. I will go and tell the story of Louis and of the church in Guatemala of of Ronnie and Alex and Julio, but I must also go and awaken the church, to remind it of its purpose and to turn its eyes on the only One who can ever guide it. It took going to open my eyes, coming home to break my heart, and being stuck here to set me on fire for God's mission in my hometown and in my home country.
Oh God, I will never be the same. I am so broken. But in You I find strength. In You I find purpose and passion. In You I find my mission. You have given me a fire for Your church, Your beloved. Raise me up and use me according to your purposes. And while you work in your own timing, You won't wait on ours to redeem Your people. So use me now however you choose. Thank you for the beautiful people of Guatemala, who have taught me so much about loving you and serving those You love. Break down my walls of pride, that I may be used as a bridge between the introverted church and the people of this world who need to see Your image in Your people. It's all for You. Amen.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Romanced
In a world where a million different things fight for my attention, the God of the universe brings me joys that no one else could ever provide.
I am romanced. God has fought for my attention; He has given me friends to express inexplicable joy to; He has sent lightning blazing across the night sky that causes my heart to race. He has shown me victory in love, and hope in what seems like defeat.
There is a chapter in a book I'm reading about how God seeks to romance us in ways that are individual and personal. He awakens our spirits in ways no human ever could. My prayer has been for the past few weeks that God would romance me, and open my eyes to see His love. And He has.
It started last Thursday as I was driving home during a storm. It was late at night and I'd called a friend to help me stay awake. But I didn't need that. God quickly showed me that I needed to hang up the phone, that He was giving me what I'd asked for. I watched as silver bolts of lightning wove their way across the sky. And I could only stare in awe and worship in wonder.
This past weekend I watched as God softened a friend's heart. I watched as He protected and provided and sustained as only He can do. I rejoiced in the Lord and the little victories. I also watched as satan fought for the same heart. I watched as the same heart put up defenses just days later. But I rejoice in the same God who fought for me, who in His timing captivated my heart to such a point that I will never, ever be able to turn from His love. I trust that He is doing the same for my friend.
On June 13th, I celebrated my third year of my walk with Christ. It's been the greatest joy of my life. There have been days where it seemed easier to turn away. But my God always, always, comes through. In His arms I have found purpose and worth and love and peace and healing. I look foward to not only three more years but a lifetime of living in Him.
This week I have felt peace in walks with friends. I have found hope in the way Christ is working in those older than me; who still struggle, but who have found a life and calling and purpose in the Lord. My heart has soared as things I've been thinking and feeling have been finally put to words, to the glory of God. I have been blessed with wonderful mentors who love me and are more than willing to pour their wisdom into me.
And tonight, the Lover of my soul called once again to me in the night sky. Storms are scary to some, but fascinating to me. I've always loved them. But just recently I realized that they are God's way of grabbing my attention. As I was driving home from church, I began to think about the Church and religion and how frustrated I'm getting. I'm tired of theology. I just want to know Jesus. I began to pray, and halfway through that statement, lightning lit up the sky, branching off like silver veins and cutting off my words. And I started laughing. I was filled with pure joy at the beauty of God, at His way of telling me that He just wants to know me, too. And all I could say was, "I love you, too." The storm continued to roll in, and I decided to stop to watch it. There's this hill in my neighborhood that looks over some trees and gives a really good view of the sky. So I drove there. When it comes to God, I'm never disappointed. I parked my car on the hill and got out. I stood in awe as flashes of light illuminated the clouds. Some were behind the clouds, creating flashes as if someone had turned on a lamp behind a curtained window. At other times the lightning would spread out like a spider's webb above me. I was totally in awe and a little scared that I'd get struck. But no. It was pure beauty. And purely God. I am so awestruck at His glory!!! I don't deserve to see it, and yet He reveals it in EVERYTHING to His children.
I'm constantly amazed at what God will do just to draw our hearts to Him. And it makes me fall all the more in love with Him. Needless to say, I never knew when this journey started that I'd love Him this much. And that's only three years in! I have all of eternity!! :) I am completely and totally romanced by a seriously ridiculous God, and I wouldn't have life any other way!
I am romanced. God has fought for my attention; He has given me friends to express inexplicable joy to; He has sent lightning blazing across the night sky that causes my heart to race. He has shown me victory in love, and hope in what seems like defeat.
There is a chapter in a book I'm reading about how God seeks to romance us in ways that are individual and personal. He awakens our spirits in ways no human ever could. My prayer has been for the past few weeks that God would romance me, and open my eyes to see His love. And He has.
It started last Thursday as I was driving home during a storm. It was late at night and I'd called a friend to help me stay awake. But I didn't need that. God quickly showed me that I needed to hang up the phone, that He was giving me what I'd asked for. I watched as silver bolts of lightning wove their way across the sky. And I could only stare in awe and worship in wonder.
This past weekend I watched as God softened a friend's heart. I watched as He protected and provided and sustained as only He can do. I rejoiced in the Lord and the little victories. I also watched as satan fought for the same heart. I watched as the same heart put up defenses just days later. But I rejoice in the same God who fought for me, who in His timing captivated my heart to such a point that I will never, ever be able to turn from His love. I trust that He is doing the same for my friend.
On June 13th, I celebrated my third year of my walk with Christ. It's been the greatest joy of my life. There have been days where it seemed easier to turn away. But my God always, always, comes through. In His arms I have found purpose and worth and love and peace and healing. I look foward to not only three more years but a lifetime of living in Him.
This week I have felt peace in walks with friends. I have found hope in the way Christ is working in those older than me; who still struggle, but who have found a life and calling and purpose in the Lord. My heart has soared as things I've been thinking and feeling have been finally put to words, to the glory of God. I have been blessed with wonderful mentors who love me and are more than willing to pour their wisdom into me.
And tonight, the Lover of my soul called once again to me in the night sky. Storms are scary to some, but fascinating to me. I've always loved them. But just recently I realized that they are God's way of grabbing my attention. As I was driving home from church, I began to think about the Church and religion and how frustrated I'm getting. I'm tired of theology. I just want to know Jesus. I began to pray, and halfway through that statement, lightning lit up the sky, branching off like silver veins and cutting off my words. And I started laughing. I was filled with pure joy at the beauty of God, at His way of telling me that He just wants to know me, too. And all I could say was, "I love you, too." The storm continued to roll in, and I decided to stop to watch it. There's this hill in my neighborhood that looks over some trees and gives a really good view of the sky. So I drove there. When it comes to God, I'm never disappointed. I parked my car on the hill and got out. I stood in awe as flashes of light illuminated the clouds. Some were behind the clouds, creating flashes as if someone had turned on a lamp behind a curtained window. At other times the lightning would spread out like a spider's webb above me. I was totally in awe and a little scared that I'd get struck. But no. It was pure beauty. And purely God. I am so awestruck at His glory!!! I don't deserve to see it, and yet He reveals it in EVERYTHING to His children.
I'm constantly amazed at what God will do just to draw our hearts to Him. And it makes me fall all the more in love with Him. Needless to say, I never knew when this journey started that I'd love Him this much. And that's only three years in! I have all of eternity!! :) I am completely and totally romanced by a seriously ridiculous God, and I wouldn't have life any other way!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Captivated
I am completely and totally captivated by the God of the universe.
He has captured my heart, and I'm finding purpose and meaning in His arms. He has taught me more about myself in the past week than I ever hoped to know. And I'm healing. I've been led to this amazing process of letting the Lord comfort the broken child that I am, heal my shattered heart, and restore me to the woman of God that He envisions for me to be. I'm seeing the beauty around me, and the beauty in me. Everything in this world seeks to tear down the feminine heart, God's gift of beauty to the world, the ultimate crown of creation. But God has swept me off my feet, invited me into His love. He has romanced me. Many ask if that's okay, if it's sacriligious to see the God of all as a Lover. Yes, yes it is. The book of Hosea is all about God's pursuit of His Beloved. In His most intimate illustrations, Jesus calls Himself the Bridegroom of the church. So many of us see God as some hard, distant judge, and we're content to know His son, who seems to like us pretty well. But no. The Creator God, Ruler of all things, who designed love and friendship and our very hearts, wants to know you, and wants you to know Him. He wants you to dive into His heart and be satisfied. For in His arms there is satisfaction and healing.
And romance.
God knows what makes you tick, what makes your heart quicken with joy. Tonight as I was driving home, I was overcome with the scent of blooming flowers, with the breeze on my face from my roled down windows. Today at the Greenway I was captivated by the scent of honeysuckles, which I look forward to every spring. God's roses are the blooming flowers of the fields that fill the air with their heavenly smells. God's candle lit dinners are clear nights with a million stars in the sky. God's chocolates are the precious stones of the earth. Creation is filled with His glory; it shouts that God wants to romance me.
And He wants to romance you, dear heart, for He loves you like no other. In His arms you'll find rest. You'll discover the beauty that you really and truly are. You'll be satisfied. Turn to Him. Let God pour His heart into You. Let Him care for you wounds, answer your questions. Let Him love you. For then you'll find that your precious heart is released to truly live.
He has captured my heart, and I'm finding purpose and meaning in His arms. He has taught me more about myself in the past week than I ever hoped to know. And I'm healing. I've been led to this amazing process of letting the Lord comfort the broken child that I am, heal my shattered heart, and restore me to the woman of God that He envisions for me to be. I'm seeing the beauty around me, and the beauty in me. Everything in this world seeks to tear down the feminine heart, God's gift of beauty to the world, the ultimate crown of creation. But God has swept me off my feet, invited me into His love. He has romanced me. Many ask if that's okay, if it's sacriligious to see the God of all as a Lover. Yes, yes it is. The book of Hosea is all about God's pursuit of His Beloved. In His most intimate illustrations, Jesus calls Himself the Bridegroom of the church. So many of us see God as some hard, distant judge, and we're content to know His son, who seems to like us pretty well. But no. The Creator God, Ruler of all things, who designed love and friendship and our very hearts, wants to know you, and wants you to know Him. He wants you to dive into His heart and be satisfied. For in His arms there is satisfaction and healing.
And romance.
God knows what makes you tick, what makes your heart quicken with joy. Tonight as I was driving home, I was overcome with the scent of blooming flowers, with the breeze on my face from my roled down windows. Today at the Greenway I was captivated by the scent of honeysuckles, which I look forward to every spring. God's roses are the blooming flowers of the fields that fill the air with their heavenly smells. God's candle lit dinners are clear nights with a million stars in the sky. God's chocolates are the precious stones of the earth. Creation is filled with His glory; it shouts that God wants to romance me.
And He wants to romance you, dear heart, for He loves you like no other. In His arms you'll find rest. You'll discover the beauty that you really and truly are. You'll be satisfied. Turn to Him. Let God pour His heart into You. Let Him care for you wounds, answer your questions. Let Him love you. For then you'll find that your precious heart is released to truly live.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Identity
I'm in this time of, like every other person my age, discovering who I am. But I can't find it. Not on my own, anyway. However, I am learning that the more I find my definition and my source in God, the pieces of Devin start to come together.
Like the more I ask God to break my heart for what breaks His, the more my eyes are opened to the church. The church, who has stood for thousands of years, who endures through the strongest persecution. The church-the beautiful bride of Christ. More and more God reveals the areas in my own life that I try to run away. And the ways the church is running away. I look around me and see poverty. People die on city streets. The world is ravaged by pain. Injustices such as human trafficking and exploitation mar humanity. And the church has closed her eyes. She's forgetting her purpose, forgetting her First Love.
Nothing in this world breaks my heart like the church does. The Body is wonderful, complex, beautiful, full of potential. But culture has infiltrated the Body in such as way that we have become our own hindrance. Pride makes leaders power hungry. The mind has become a breeding ground for corrupt ideas and the birthplace of every kind of evil.
The church must find her identity in the Lord.
We must never, ever forget who we are and Whose we are. We must never forget that God cares more about our character than our comfort. We must never forget that God is calling us to be in the world, not of the world. We must be the change we wish to see happen. We can talk all day long about how we think that the world is delivering itself to hell's gates. But what do we do about it? Faith without deeds is dead. Are we dying?
The world doesn't need a revolution. The church doesn't need a revolution. We don't need new ideas or better sermons or better programs or better pastors. We just need Jesus. We just need to fall in love with the One who wants to know us, the One who wants us to know Him. It's time to set aside our pride, that great stumbling block of humanity. It's time to humble ourselves and face reality. WE are the change. WE are Christ's hands and feet in this world. God has given us everything we need to fulfill His mission. It's time to do something. It's time to step up.
Oh God, bring Your church back to You. Turn our eyes from the unfulfilling things that cloud our vision. Turn our eyes to You. Break our hearts for what breaks Yours. Transform us into the people You've called us to be, as shown in Jesus' life. Bring us back to You.
Like the more I ask God to break my heart for what breaks His, the more my eyes are opened to the church. The church, who has stood for thousands of years, who endures through the strongest persecution. The church-the beautiful bride of Christ. More and more God reveals the areas in my own life that I try to run away. And the ways the church is running away. I look around me and see poverty. People die on city streets. The world is ravaged by pain. Injustices such as human trafficking and exploitation mar humanity. And the church has closed her eyes. She's forgetting her purpose, forgetting her First Love.
Nothing in this world breaks my heart like the church does. The Body is wonderful, complex, beautiful, full of potential. But culture has infiltrated the Body in such as way that we have become our own hindrance. Pride makes leaders power hungry. The mind has become a breeding ground for corrupt ideas and the birthplace of every kind of evil.
The church must find her identity in the Lord.
We must never, ever forget who we are and Whose we are. We must never forget that God cares more about our character than our comfort. We must never forget that God is calling us to be in the world, not of the world. We must be the change we wish to see happen. We can talk all day long about how we think that the world is delivering itself to hell's gates. But what do we do about it? Faith without deeds is dead. Are we dying?
The world doesn't need a revolution. The church doesn't need a revolution. We don't need new ideas or better sermons or better programs or better pastors. We just need Jesus. We just need to fall in love with the One who wants to know us, the One who wants us to know Him. It's time to set aside our pride, that great stumbling block of humanity. It's time to humble ourselves and face reality. WE are the change. WE are Christ's hands and feet in this world. God has given us everything we need to fulfill His mission. It's time to do something. It's time to step up.
Oh God, bring Your church back to You. Turn our eyes from the unfulfilling things that cloud our vision. Turn our eyes to You. Break our hearts for what breaks Yours. Transform us into the people You've called us to be, as shown in Jesus' life. Bring us back to You.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Learning...
I'm learning. Mainly about weakness. I'm so weak. It seems like I'm fighting one battle after another. I'm being attacked in my grace, love, patience, confidence, and my ability, or lack there-of, to use my words to say what needs to by said in the right way. I've gone from pride to self-doubt on a constantly swinging, rarely balanced pendulum; I'm worn thin by the realization of who God is calling me to be and how completely and utterly hard that is for me because at the core of everything He's calling me to, Jesus is calling me to be selfless.
I'm learning.
I'm learning that it is in my weakness that the glory of the Lord is made known. It's when I'm at my lowest that He can step in and show me once again how much He truly cares. It's when I feel like I can't take one more step for fear of the world shattering beneath my feet, He shows me that it's His hands that hold everything together.
In the midst of the chaos, there are times when I have an overwhelming peace. It permeates me. Sometimes when I walk at school, the most chaotic time of my day, I have this peace in knowing that I'm right where God has called me to be. I know that I'm here for a purpose.
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
It's constant, unwavering, unshakeable, engrained into the very fiber of my being. No matter how weak I feel, how down, how depressed, how fallen, the joy that fills my life is always there, reminding me of the way God always comes through; in little, unsuspected ways or in great displays of might, He always keeps His promises.
I will cling to the Lord, my source of strength, my peace, my deliverer, my life, my beloved.
I'm learning.
I'm learning that it is in my weakness that the glory of the Lord is made known. It's when I'm at my lowest that He can step in and show me once again how much He truly cares. It's when I feel like I can't take one more step for fear of the world shattering beneath my feet, He shows me that it's His hands that hold everything together.
In the midst of the chaos, there are times when I have an overwhelming peace. It permeates me. Sometimes when I walk at school, the most chaotic time of my day, I have this peace in knowing that I'm right where God has called me to be. I know that I'm here for a purpose.
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
It's constant, unwavering, unshakeable, engrained into the very fiber of my being. No matter how weak I feel, how down, how depressed, how fallen, the joy that fills my life is always there, reminding me of the way God always comes through; in little, unsuspected ways or in great displays of might, He always keeps His promises.
I will cling to the Lord, my source of strength, my peace, my deliverer, my life, my beloved.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
From Casting Stones to Casting Crowns
The Word constantly tells us to build people up, not tear them down. And yet we find ourselves in a world that says it's okay to destroy someone to further yourself. The world says Go aheah, send that text. It's okay to tell her what you really think. Gossip is just what girls do. They will never know what you said so why should it matter? What we fail to realize is that our words are spoken into eternity. What we fail to realize is just how damaging words can be. What we fail to realize is that when we gossip, when we exclude people because they don't fit our mold of cool, when we are "just being honest", we're tearing down people and we're tearing down the church.
At youth group Wednesday, we talked about how quick we are to cast stones, when in reality God should be the one casting stones at us. But as with the woman caught in adultry and brought before Jesus, we've been pardoned. We've been forgiven. We've been accepted and loved in spite of who we've been.
Why can't we extend that same grace to others?
My youth pastor had a really powerful visual. He took a ceiling tile and sat it up on a chair. Then he began to throw rocks at it. The first one was gossip. It left a nasty dent. Condemnation. A holier-than-thou attitude. Rejection. All the while, these rocks are absolutely destroying the ceiling tile. With each blow it got weaker, until finally it split into pieces. And not just easy to clean up chunks. Tiny pieces were everywhere. It was too broken to ever hope to be put back together. That ceiling tile represented a person. The rocks are the judgements hurled at it by people who claim to know God's heart. But if we as the church really knew God's heart, we'd know that He wants NO ONE to be treated like that.
And yet how quickly I let myself gossip! How quickly I look through these human eyes at someone instead of seeing him or her as God does. My heart broke with this realization. My friends know I'm a brutally honest person. But how much of my honesty seeks to build? How much is self-driven? Yes, I can tell the truth, but am I telling it in love?
We as the church are here to show the world that God desires so much more for us than what we settle for. We're here to show the world that God loves people for who they are. And yet our actions and words break them down. I think it's time I cast aside my crown. It's time I set aside this holier-than-thou/I-have-a-right-to-say-it attitude. It's time to humble myself. It's time to see people as God sees them. No, I won't be fixed overnight, but I'm not going to settle for less than what God is calling me to.
And what if the church as a whole embraced her call? What if we built each other up? What if we stood on the foundation Jesus laid for us and did this really revolutionary thing called loving our neighbors as ourselves? What would this world be like???
Jesus, forgive me for all the times I've clung to a crown and cast stones. Change my heart. Help me to see with Your eyes. And may my words and actions build up Your body, not tear it down.
At youth group Wednesday, we talked about how quick we are to cast stones, when in reality God should be the one casting stones at us. But as with the woman caught in adultry and brought before Jesus, we've been pardoned. We've been forgiven. We've been accepted and loved in spite of who we've been.
Why can't we extend that same grace to others?
My youth pastor had a really powerful visual. He took a ceiling tile and sat it up on a chair. Then he began to throw rocks at it. The first one was gossip. It left a nasty dent. Condemnation. A holier-than-thou attitude. Rejection. All the while, these rocks are absolutely destroying the ceiling tile. With each blow it got weaker, until finally it split into pieces. And not just easy to clean up chunks. Tiny pieces were everywhere. It was too broken to ever hope to be put back together. That ceiling tile represented a person. The rocks are the judgements hurled at it by people who claim to know God's heart. But if we as the church really knew God's heart, we'd know that He wants NO ONE to be treated like that.
And yet how quickly I let myself gossip! How quickly I look through these human eyes at someone instead of seeing him or her as God does. My heart broke with this realization. My friends know I'm a brutally honest person. But how much of my honesty seeks to build? How much is self-driven? Yes, I can tell the truth, but am I telling it in love?
We as the church are here to show the world that God desires so much more for us than what we settle for. We're here to show the world that God loves people for who they are. And yet our actions and words break them down. I think it's time I cast aside my crown. It's time I set aside this holier-than-thou/I-have-a-right-to-say-it attitude. It's time to humble myself. It's time to see people as God sees them. No, I won't be fixed overnight, but I'm not going to settle for less than what God is calling me to.
And what if the church as a whole embraced her call? What if we built each other up? What if we stood on the foundation Jesus laid for us and did this really revolutionary thing called loving our neighbors as ourselves? What would this world be like???
Jesus, forgive me for all the times I've clung to a crown and cast stones. Change my heart. Help me to see with Your eyes. And may my words and actions build up Your body, not tear it down.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)