So Close

This year has been one of the most exciting in my short 18 years. There has been so much change and transition. I feel like I'm constantly moving and doing and trying. There have been so many amazing times and I have so many fond memories but I've realized how easy it is to get caught up in the current of life. Sometimes even good things can be a distraction if my eyes aren't constantly on God.

Over the past couple of weeks I have been absolutely starving for my God. I have thirsted for His presence, for intimacy with Him. Life keeps moving forward and pulling me along and all the time. I just want to put on the breaks and breathe. And then when I have time to breathe I can't handle sitting still so I keep moving. It's as if I'm afraid to stop, afraid of what He might say. But I want to go there, I need to go there.

I haven't had some amazing break through or some moment of clarity. All I know is a burning desperation to be close to the Lover of my soul. I want to get swept away in His love, to drown in His grace, to fill my belly with the things of Him. He is blessing my life in so many ways and I'm so excited about future things and present things, but He is everything.

Oh God, in the midst of all the happenings of life, whisper my name. Call me unto Your heart. Sing over me and draw me to You. Woo me into Your arms. Remind me of how You rescued me from the pit. Consume me and ignite in me a passion for Your people.

And now some words from Bethany Dillon:

I’m so close to being so far away from You
I was wrong, but it takes so much to say it to You
Like a broken husband and wife
Who never talk but share their nights
I’m so close to being so far away from You
I have nothing when I’m living apart from You
Outside, creation groans
To lose our darkness and be made whole

For my feet are close to slipping
Speak to my heart in time
You have promised, so I do believe
You won’t forget this wandering child

Still, I’m so close to being so far away from You
Though I know no one on their own makes it through
My soul clings to the dust
So in Your life, let it be enough

I’m so foolish to believe that I can escape Your love

For my feet were close to slipping
You spoke to my heart in time
You have promised, and I do believe
You won’t forget this wandering child

You’re so close when I feel far away from You
You’re so close when I feel far away from You